all i wanted was to make you a better person, yet you refuse.

i wanted you to be free from harm, safe, healthy. i wanted you to realize that i care about you so much i do not want to risk you.

yet, again, you refuse.

i've accepted you for a long time now, but you know how much i cannot accept that one thing. i am asking you to rid of that one thing not because i just want to, but because it is for you.

i love you. i do not want to lose you soon.

do you love me? why do you have to let this hurt me? why do you let this become a problem? why can you not let go of it? because you DO NOT WANT TO!

YOU SO FUCKING DO NOT WANT TO! AND I SO WANT TO HATE YOU FOR IT! I WISH I CAN MUSTER UP ENOUGH HATRED FOR ME TO HATE YOU!

I HATE YOU BECAUSE EVEN IF I HAVE THE RIGHT TO HATE YOU AND I SO WANT TO HATE YOU.... I JUST CANNOT!

I WANT TO HATE YOU! I WANT TO I WANT TO I WANT TO!

XtremeMac TuffWrap 3-Pack for iPod nano
XtremeMac Iconz Case for iPod nano (Bart Simpson)
Incase nano Wallet for iPod nano - Pink

SOMEBODY BUY ME ALL OF THESE!

i have not updated my blog for ages. my life is utterly boring, what can i say? i cant wait for december 17.

last night, i dreamt of many images of jesus christ. all of them are in front of the houses in our street. what's weird is that i prayed to each one of them, lit a candle even. i do not know what i am praying for, but i remember intently praying. does that mean anything? do i need some higher entity to guide my life?

i am, as you can see, devastated from all the things that happened to me lately. of course, i couldn't blame anyone because they are my wrongdoings. i do not know. perhaps, im fit somewhere... in solitude... without anyone... i cannot drag people down with me.

i do not know.

i really do not know.

lately. my dreams are morbid. shot in the head sa kalagitnaan ng katanghalian ng araw sa katipunan, entering a haunted house just to find out that nobody gets out ALIVE and i see people dying around me. mga ganon. bakit ganon?

Today, a presidential candidate is .... My wife and daughter are in danger. And people that I work with, may be involved in both. I am Federal Agent Jack Bauer and this... is the longest day of my life.

The following takes place between 5:00pm and 6:00pm on the day of the California Presidential Primary.

Kiefer Sutherland
Leslie Hope
Elisha Cuthbert
(etc etc)
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Sorry naman. Nagmamarathon kame ng 24 season 1 at nasa 5:00pm to 6:00pm na kame.

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ako kaya, ano gagawin ko kung nakidnap ang pamilya ko dahil sa trabaho ko. siguro right then and there, maghahanap na ko ng bagong trabaho. i would never put my loved one's life in danger. as i always tell myself, i would rather have myself mutilated, savaged, and shit just not the ones i love. pero what if they get hurt and kidnapped because of me? something to think of.

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i can smell fried seafood from one of the condo units either above, below or beside me. i wish i can have some, too.

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i am hungry. i want a cheeseburger, double cheese, double patty, with lots of onions, lettuce leaves, mayonnaise, chili sauce and mustard. *drool*

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i also want my carbonara. silvannas. sansrival. tiramisu. god, what a sweet tooth.

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i will go to gym next sem. i promise i will have my abs! i will be sexy for summer. (i wish i can save enough for Bora.)

ewan ko. i don't feel ok. i don't feel me. putangina.

i am somehow confused. i feel like everything's normal when it isn't. why so? i do not know. i feel like everything is perfect and nothing is missing. why am i so contented with my life. it wouldn't drive me to ask for more if i am now contented, and very much happy. ewan ko.

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i am in the process of reinventng myself. if i should be a geek, then let it be. kahet wala na kong social life. basta gusto ko maging dean's lister this coming sem. i swear to get i will work the hell out of my ass just to get 3.35! kahit second honors lang. proud na ko don. happy na ko don. at least once in my irregular student life, napabilang pangalan ko sa listahan ng pantas. hanep.

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i would like to get a new handy dandy digicam. i would like an mp3 player as well. can anybody give me one of each?

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gusto ko ng tsokolate, amputa.

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i would not know what to do if the day comes that my visa would be released and i've got one-way plane tickets to god knows where. i'd rather die. i wouldn't leave. not at all. i promise.